


On The Off Chance

by MercuryMapleKey



Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Introspection, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rehab AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24646660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryMapleKey/pseuds/MercuryMapleKey
Summary: Ironhide had never been the biggest thinker, but now with Wasp back in his life he finds he's second guessing almost everything. It's not easy, but it's probably the right decision.Right?
Relationships: Ironhide/Wasp
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	On The Off Chance

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [try, try again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961795) by [ribbonelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribbonelle/pseuds/ribbonelle). 



> Exactly 7 years ago I wrote my first Ironwasp fic and I had to create the tag myself. Now there's 22 whole fics in there! And not all of them are written by me!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy some more rehab au. This work is part of a series with Ribbonelle's [try, try again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961795) and my Mnemonic

Some relationships were a tough balance. They all were, probably, but Ironhide had never really thought about it in those terms before. He was a confident mech, used to making quick decisions on the field and following orders without a fuss – like any soldier should be. A lot of things in life were simple if you wanted them to be, at least they had been for Ironhide. That wasn’t the case anymore. Having Wasp back in his life meant questioning a lot of the things Ironhide had thought he’d known about his faction and his life. There was a lot of thinking that went into every action since he took Wasp in, and Ironhide didn’t always know if the choices he was making were right. That was fine, he could deal with not knowing a few things, but he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to being so unsure of himself.

Wasp didn't sleep much. At least, it never seemed like he did. Ironhide couldn't be sure, he guessed. The mech spent a lot of time locked away in his room, but still Ironhide didn't think he was getting a lot of recharge. He'd heard him awake at odd hours too many times to think that.

It wasn't a problem, just another thing Ironhide had noticed after taking Wasp in from the Institute. They'd been living together for awhile now, and Wasp's rehabilitation was going well most days, all things considered, but some things never seemed to get better. The recharge was one of them. He had thought it might change after Wasp got more used to his surroundings, just like he'd been hoping Wasp might warm up to him once he realized that Ironhide had no intentions of treating him like a patient or a convict. It was hard to say if either of those things had happened some days. Were they friends? Ironhide thought they were by now. It was just that some days they still took a step forward and some days they took a step back. He’d gotten used to it, even if it still made his spark feel like a weight in his chest. Whatever Wasp felt about the situation, he kept it close to his chestplate. Understandably, he didn't like to show weakness.

So it was strange to get up that morning and find that Wasp had fallen into recharge in the living room of their shared habsuite. He must have been up during the nightcycle or something, Ironhide froze in the doorway when he saw him. Wasp was jumpy at the best of times and he thought any noise at all might have been enough to wake him. Maybe. He looked tiny curled up on Ironhide's couch with his arm pulled up protectively by his helm, venting uneven but deep. He'd never looked that small back in the bootcamp barracks, but then again he'd been a different mech back then. They both had, but it was something Ironhide had to fight to remember sometimes.

He decided not to bring attention to the situation. Instead turning around to head back into the corner of the apartment that served as a kitchen area and preparing himself a cube -- same as he would any other morning. Wasp would wake up eventually, and when he did things would be nice and normal for him, the same as they were any other day. When it came to engaging with Wasp's stranger (and sometimes instigating) habits, Ironhide had found that casual acceptance went a long way most of the time. This was Wasp's home now after all, and if he wanted to sleep outside his recharge chamber, or jam his comm signal, or get really picky about the vids they watched, then that was fine.

So the energon got made up, sharp and energizing, and Ironhide fixed a cube for his friend too, because he did that sometimes. And for the most part, refueling was as uneventful as any other day -- a bit of quiet before he met up with his team and got to work. Simple. Easy. But then he heard it.

He almost didn't at first because it started out quiet, but as it continued on from a faint murmur the tone became unmistakable. Wasp tended to talk to himself without realizing it. A lot, actually; and Ironhide had gotten used to just pretending that was normal too, but this was different. It was a lot more frantic, disjointed, and on edge, and things were never that good when he sounded like that. Concerned, Ironhide immediately had to go see what had caused the change. It had been awhile since Wasp had really been set off by something, and he'd done okay for himself the last time that he was, but rightly or wrongly Ironhide always felt like he should be there for it if he could be. Just in case.

But Wasp was still asleep. Curled in on himself even tighter now and whining out loud as he struggled with whatever thoughts or emotions were processing in the defrag cycle. And it looked like it was a struggle. Ironhide couldn't remember if the medics had told him about this kind of thing happening, but he knew that Wasp had fought pretty hard to get off most of his cognition patches as soon as the option was presented to him. Were bad dreams a result of that choice or had they always been happening?

He should have just taken this as normal too. Wasp was fine. He wasn't in trouble and he wasn't a risk to himself either. As his caretaker and his friend Ironhide should have just taken it as normal. It was normal. Every mech had a bad recharge now and then, and he knew Wasp hated being treated like something different or broken. Not that he was. Ironhide didn't think he was, he just... He should have just left him be and carried on with his day, and Wasp would have woken up perfectly fine and found the cube waiting for him in the kitchen, and be trusted, as any other mech on Cybertron was, to handle his own day to day problems. He probably would have preferred that anyways, as independent as he'd always been. Ironhide really should have just done what was expected of him.

But Wasp sounded so miserable, and Ironhide had never really considered himself that much of a caretaker anyways. He had never heard him quite like that. The words were undecipherable, but Wasp’s tone was enough: a panicked sob like a mech pleading for his life. There wasn't even any outrage or bitterness to it like there was normally when he was worried about his latest assessment, like there had been back when--

What was he remembering, Ironhide wondered. The stockades? His time on the run? Being chased down by the Autobot Elite Guard? Something even worse? He'd never know, and he'd probably never understand either. Ironhide had fought 'Cons before. He'd seen some real chaos and horror on the battlefield and in the aftermath of settlements 'Cons had destroyed, but... He'd always had his team with him. Wasp hadn't had anything, not even a faction to believe in. Of course Ironhide would never understand.

So maybe he should have just carried on and left for work, and maybe Wasp would have been fine. He could handle himself after all, he was pretty adamant about that, but Ironhide couldn't. He couldn't just leave if it meant Wasp waking up scared and alone. Maybe it was the selfish choice, but his decision was made. Ironhide woke Wasp up.

He already knew it wasn't the best idea. He could have made things a lot worse. Wasp could have attacked him on instinct, he could have hurt himself. There was no good way to wake up a mech who had been through what he'd been through. Ironhide knew that much at least, and he really didn't want to shock him. He tried just calling his name first, and when that didn't work he sat on the other end of the couch and carefully brushed his servo against Wasp's shoulder plate. Not threatening, not in his face, no reason to panic.

Wasp woke up and was moving in an instant. Green helm shot out from under his arms with a shriek as if he'd been zapped with one of his own stingers. He could have gotten angry, he could have woken up punching and kicking -- to be honest that was the kind of reaction that Ironhide had expected out of Wasp if anything. He was always a fighter.

But it didn't happen like that. Wasp reacted like a frightened turbofox, immediately scrambling backwards with another yelp as if to get away from his would be attacker. He was venting hard and looked about a nanoklik away from transforming and busting out of the apartment entirely until he saw Ironhide beside him. When their optics met, Wasp's were blown wide and bright with an unnamed terror.

"'Hide!" Wasp's voice was almost hitched up to static, he grabbed onto Ironhide's arm like a lifeline and looked around the living room like he was expecting something else to be in there with them. Ironhide didn't know what personal experiences could have led to that. He wasn't sure he really wanted to either, but he did know that there was no way he could have left Wasp in that nightmare alone, personal autonomy or no.

"Hey Wasp. Sorry 'bout waking you up, just wanted to let ya know I'm heading out." Ironhide did his best to keep his voice low and steady to counteract Wasp's rapid ventilation. It might not have been working in the moment, but it had in the past -- Wasp turned back around and looked right through him with that haunted stare before resetting his optics and tilting his head away sharply.

"Oh..." Wasp replied on automatic, but his voice was distant enough still to know he hadn't heard a word. "What was that?"

Ever since Wasp had come back to Cybertron he'd picked up this new tic where he'd buzz his vocaliser when he was agitated. This was aside from the talking to himself thing. Ironhide had never met another bot who did either and wondered what had caused Wasp to start. He wondered if he even knew he was doing it. Ironhide wondered a lot of things that Wasp would probably never tell him. That was fine, he didn't deserve to know them, but Wasp didn't deserve to be as scared as he was either.

"I gotta head off to work." Ironhide explained again now that Wasp was more lucid. He wanted to keep his friend grounded; he wanted him to know he was there. "Debriefing for a new mission today." It was an important thing, surely worth waking Wasp up for. He shouldn't have done it, and it could have gone poorly, but so far it hadn't. They were doing okay.

"Oh, work." Wasp had still been holding on to him, small servos that gripped tight and felt like they were trying to claw their way under his arm guard. He let go now to cross his arms over his chassis, as good as ever at playing things off coolly. Wasp could be a hard mech to read on a good day, but this time Ironhide thought he might have gotten it right. "Well whatever," Wasp shrugged, "you don't have to tell me."

"Alright, well I left ya breakfast in the kitchen." He didn't really want to leave anymore, but he had no real reason to stay either. Wasp was okay now. Ironhide gave his friend's knee a reassuring pat as he got up off the couch and headed to the door to start the rest of his day. This was normal too. A new normal maybe to see a side of his old friend that he knew must have existed but was always guarded under layers of anger, resentment, and personal strength. It was a good thing. And Ironhide -- provided he didn't mess up too badly again -- could help out when it was needed and go back to work and his regular life when it wasn't. He could do that. He was willing to do a lot of things for Wasp.

"Ironhide?"

He was almost out the door when Wasp stopped him, optics set across the room at the wall above the vid screen.

"Yeah buddy?"

"You're not... doing anything else after, right?"

Above all else, Wasp was strong. He was resilient and didn't like to depend on anyone anymore if he could help it. Ironhide had come to find that he was a much more impressive mech than he had ever believed him to be way back then, despite the strange habits and rough days. Or maybe because of them. To take what the AllSpark had given him in life and still have the struts to face it on his own meant to Ironhide that Wasp was stronger than any Elite Guard soldier. So maybe he could have just let him be.

"I wasn't planning on it, really." He could have taken Wasp's strength and independence as a sign of his healing.

"Okay."

Maybe he should have too. Ironhide didn't know how therapy worked. He didn't know how a mech recovered from having the whole world turn against him -- himself included, he'd never let himself forget that -- and there was always the possibility that he was only making things worse. But Ironhide thought that he might know Wasp pretty well by now, and he knew that when Wasp shrunk in on himself like that and stared at the walls that something was wrong. He knew that Wasp made things harder for himself sometimes because be believed no one was there for him. But that wasn't true anymore.

"Y'know actually," Ironhide drawled, leaning an arm against the doorframe in a decision he was pretty confident was the right one. "I'm feeling kind of lazy today. Might just play hookie and call in for that meeting instead. You mind?"

Wasp smiled. Almost. Sort of. His mouth quirked up over his mouthguard in something that was an emotion at least. "It's your apartment." Came the aloof reply, but Wasp wasn't glaring, and he didn't get up and slink off to his room when Ironhide settled down on the couch beside him again and flipped on the vid screen to whatever had been on last. He almost seemed to like the background noise more. And when he leaned on Ironhide, just the slightest bit as he unfolded to watch the video proper, Ironhide pretended like that was normal for them too.

It wasn't perfect, but it might have been working.


End file.
